And so it begins... From the Mother of the Groom

My oldest son, now 26, will be getting married in one year.  How did the years pass by so quickly? What happened to the baby we brought home from the hospital in a car seat?  The child who enjoyed playing in the sand at the playground?

He has grown into a wonderful young man with dreams of beginning the next chapter of his life as a husband and creating an extension of his life with us.

We've been blessed with a close, warm and loving relationship.  He's been supported, guided, nurtured, taught right from wrong and now it is his turn to step into his role as husband and friend (to a young woman we are still getting to know) utilizing all the tools learned from us and the experiences life provided him.

This is my first experience as a Mother of the Future Groom.  With three sons, I trust I will be an expert by the time our youngest is preparing to walk down the aisle.

In this moment, as I type this - the best guidance I can provide myself and any woman with a future daughter-in-love that she doesn't quite know yet, is take it slow.  Don't push yourself on her - remember how you felt in her shoes.

Relationships take time, nurturing, love.  We will never take the place of her mother, that's not our role, nor should we try.  I'm learning to be a friend, to share ideas and thoughts without telling them what to do, how to live, how to plan for their wedding.

Are there things I would do differently if it were my wedding being planned?  Absolutely!  I'm also grown, have experienced life (the good, the bad, the ugly) and I am not the same woman I was back then.

So, the two of them have to figure out the wedding invitations, the food, the venue, the music, the colors, and so forth.   Our job is to be supportive, be open, be flexible, not micro-manage, not 'tell' them anything.

Be open, be at ease - and just love them!